Monday, 2 April 2007

The Mind of God

Warm enough for afternoon tea in the garden today. I resisted though as I was cleaning out wardrobes and bedroom cupboards as part of my spring cleaning regime (the regime that usually takes until August to finish as I do it so sporadically). However I did pop out to snap the Photinia(Red Robin) again as it looks so much more colourful than when I posted it a few weeks ago. I have 2 of these and they are so beautiful. The secret is to prune hard as soon as the red leaves fade to green then one gets lots of new red growth.

While cleaning and sorting I was thinking of a time in 1982 when things in my life where very diffferent than they are today. At that time I was struggling emotionally and spiritually. I was depressed and anxious and feeling a total failure and just not experiencing the abundant life that the Bible promised me. I looked out of my bedroom window and saw a lady from my church bouncing down the street looking so happy and together. (Of course I know that was looking at appearances and not knowing what was going on inside). However it frustrated and depressed me more. I began to sob and cry out to God and I suddenly realised that my conversation with God was coming out like a poem. So, I stopped and wrote it down. It has, since that time been a source of revelation and inspiration to me and to many others that I have shared it with. So thought I would share it here.

O my God, why do you leave me in despair and desolation
When all around is seemingly glory and triumph
The very essence of life appear and disappear
As though they were just puppets, on a string
You mock me, You tantalise me, You hide your face.
Is it a game that you are playing?

Child, you have forgotten your prayers of yesteryear
What, me give up the things I hold so dear?
Lord, you know I want to change
But, how can You and I achieve the impossible?
It only seemed impossible to you
Because you did not have My infinite mind.

Remember the prayers that went unanswered at the time
The prayers you prayed that were impossible for me
For had I answered in the way that you had wished
Those other prayers of yours, the most important ones
Would have vanished like a vapour in the sea
And never would have brought you the life you long to see.

My love for you is more than just a fleeting feeling
To lose you would have been too great a price to pay
Your suffering has been your greatest treasure
To keep you close to me so come what may
The Mind of God would be instilled within you
So you can live the life for which you pray.
Barbara Rogerson 1982


Anonymous said...

That was beautiful, Barbara.

Cherry x

Unknown said...

That is beautiful Barbara. It is amazing, always, to see the history that God has taken us through. Somehow, when we go through things, it is easier when we can look back and see what we have already been through. I think that is how our faith grows. We can trust God NOW, because He proved Himself BEFORE. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for your sweet invitation to visit. Perhaps someday in the future. You never know. I'd love to have tea near your Red Robin :)

Isobel said...

Barbara, at this Easter season, thank you for sharing such a wonderfully inspirational and truly personal meditation. Unanswered prayers can be a wonderful gift, the passing of time can teach us so much.

Betty Cooker said...

Barbara, thank you so much for sharing with us. That poem is encouraging and puts things in perspective. I enjoy visiting your blog.

Ms. Kathleen said...

Wow, what a gorgeous garden. Thank you for stopping by The Open Window. The photo is one I took from my bedroom. I have doors that go out onto the deck and I can see the sunrise each morning. Thank you so much for you kind words!

I actually lived in England when I was a little girl, but don't really remember it.

And, your garden in stunning! Wow!

BB said...

I saw your comment on Becky's site...I am an old friend of hers that shares your name. Today, where I sit it is snowing so the photos of your garden are are a dream away for now. i enjoyed your poem as I drank my PG Tips afternoon tea...which I grew fond of when I was visiting my daughter at Oxford a few years ago. I am most impressed that you have such command of the internet and blogging. You are a marvel and I have a long way to go!

Unknown said...

Barbara, you made me laugh. Those who are not all wrapped up in our men's collegiate national championship basketball tournament would not get the "joke" on my blog. The Gators (our Florida team) won last night ... again. They won the same championship last year, and also won the football championship in January. So they are feeling unbeatable and I was poking a bit of fun at our crazy loyalty to our sports teams. No Gators in my front yard!

Unknown said...

Oh! And I see you have "met" my dear friend bb. This internet makes for such a small world.

Genuine Lustre said...

God hears all your prayers Barbara. Sometimes the answers aren't what we think they should be.

Lovely garden you have - your seasons must be ahead of ours in the US.

Portrait of Peter said...

Such a beautiful poem - emotive and from the heart.

Thank you for sharing and also your wonderful garden - a joy to see - on such a beautiful spring day.

Blessings to you and for your very kind comments.